Love Equation

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

·         Smart man + smart woman = romance

·         Smart man + dumb woman = affair

·         Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

·         Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

·         Smart boss + smart employee = profit

·         Smart boss + dumb employee = production

·         Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

·         Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS

·         A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

·         A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

·         A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

·         A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

·         A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

·         A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

·         To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

·         To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

·         Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

·         PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

·         A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

·         A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

·         A woman has the last word in any argument.

·         Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

·         Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

And we always have to get the last word in…

·         SHARE THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOWS CAN HANDLE IT.